Saturday, June 22, 2013

Mothers Support: Researching Motherhood ? The Summer MC ...

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We inadvertently become researchers of life and motherhood when we study our own as well as other mothers? experiences and journeys.

This is the concept behind our Summer MC Voices Spotlight Series on Mothers Central. Once a month we are honored to share an interview with an NAMC member who is part of our MC Voices community in hopes that you ? our readers ? will research motherhood through your own lens and uniquely applying?others? experiences and journeys to your life.

Last month we welcomed NAMC Advocacy Coordinator Valerie Young as our spotlight interview. This month we are excited to introduce you to Heather Polifka-Rivas, a mother of two who shares her stories as a writer for the Burlington VT Moms Blog.

Heather Polifka-Rivas Researching Motherhood

Q: What 3 words do you think best describe you and why?
A: (Three words, huh? In full disclosure, it depends on when you ask me this question.) At this moment in life I?d say:
Thoughtful. Resilient. Witty.

Q: What are some of your personal passions, hobbies and interests.
A: I?m a self-proclaimed foodie. I jump at any chance to visit a restaurant with interesting dining options. I also enjoy hosting dinners at our house (certainly not an easy feat with two young children running around the house, but I?m always up for the challenge). The word ?flow? is a term I use to describe when I?m absorbed in something I love. For me, cooking and preparing food is my ?flow? activity and often makes me lose all track of time.

With all the food I manage to eat, I actually do exercise. I have a torrid love affair with running ? which I?ve done on and off since high school. I ran the Chicago Marathon two years in a row and will be running the NYC Marathon in November. (This one is particularly challenging because I am 8 months post-partum and still breastfeeding. I still haven?t figured out how I?ll swing my long runs and nursing my little one ? lucky me, she still won?t take a bottle!)

Q: How did you become involved with the NAMC?
A: I heard about the NAMC while visiting my family?s lake house. One lazy afternoon my aunt (an NAMC member herself) and I were laying in the lake on inner tubes and began talking about mothering and the journey women take as they learn about parenthood and their ?selves.? She suggested I look into the NAMC. There was no active Mothers? Center Group in Burlington (where I live), however several months later when I began writing for the Burlington VT Mom?s Blog my aunt connected me with Terry ? a NAMC board member. Eventually I became an individual NAMC member. The power of networking and connecting with other women and mother?s has been so important to me over the last few years.

Q: When did you start blogging?
A: I began my own blog a few years ago but had a hard time staying disciplined enough to publish on a regular basis. I formally started blogging last September. After becoming friends with a founder of the Burlington VT Mom?s Blog, she approached me about blogging for them after reading some of my Facebook status updates (which in general reflect my tone of writing ? a mixture of humor, self-deprecation, honesty and wit).

Q: What topics/stories are you most passionate writing about.
A: I try to balance humor with topics that are both insightful and honest (which sometimes can be ?heavy? in nature). Blogging has been a way for me to process much of what motherhood means to me, whether it be through telling stories of my children?s growth or my own growth.

Q: What is your favorite blog post?and why?
A: Play Dates: The good, the bad, and the ugly. I wrote this post during winter in Vermont. As a stay at home mom I was lonely, barely had any friends and was fed up with the play date scene.

Q: What is one of your favorite memories as a parent?
A: (Trying to narrow all my memories down into one is difficult!) If I had to choose one that includes both my children it would be something that happened just the other day. I was sitting with Ruby (my 8-month-old) and Henry (my 5-year-old) eating lunch when I started singing a silly, goofy song in order to get both kids to eat. It sent them in to hysterics. Genuine kiddie giggles. (You know those kind of laughs? They are intoxicating!) I looked at both of my kids as they were looking at each other and laughing together ? it was just one of those moments where we were all connecting.

HeatherAndFamily

Q: What is one of your biggest challenges as a parent?
A: (Where do I begin?! Kidding? sort of.) The biggest challenge I?ve had is learning to be more flexible. I truly couldn?t comprehend all the stages kids go through before having my own family. Right when I think I?ve got something figured out, the kid changes and enters a new and different stage. I?m learning to be more comfortable with not always having the answer for why they behave a certain way. I?m also learning to be comfortable with saying that ?I?m doing the best I can for them, and that?s all they ask of me.?

Q: How has having children changed you?
A: There are some obvious things that change when you have children:

  • Your body changes
  • Your relationship with your partner changes
  • You can?t sleep in on a Saturday morning anymore or go out for an impromptu dinner.
  • Weekend excursions to somewhere warm, beachy and full of sun are nearly impossible.

These things are constant reminders of how you?ve changed after having kids. What has been really hard to pinpoint are the subtle shifts in your everyday outlook. Such as waking up and feeling sick, yet knowing you have two kiddos depending on you for everything so you have to make the best of your day. Or the realization that everything is not about ?me? anymore. With that being said, I put my children and their needs first, but I?m also very keen on making a little part of myself a priority every once in awhile too. A healthy woman, is a healthy mother.

Q: Do you think your views of what motherhood would be like were unrealistic before having children?
A:? I?ll be completely honest? I knew I wanted to have children, but that is all I knew. I really didn?t sit and daydream what it would be like to have a cooing baby or envision my child attending preschool for the first time. Going into motherhood, I had no preconceived notions of what I wanted it to be like.

I will tell you that {motherhood} has been the most life-changing event and journey I?ve ever embarked upon.

It was really hard for me at first. I wasn?t prepared to drop everything and attend to a baby ? every day and every minute. Don?t get me wrong, I?m completely in love with my two children, I just didn?t realize how hard it would be. This is something no one told me about. (And frankly, if someone told my very pregnant self 5 years ago, ?Heather, congrats, you?re going to have a baby. By the way, having a kid is one of the hardest things you?ll do,? I probably wouldn?t have believed them.)

~

Thank you Heather, for bravely sharing your thoughts and memories as a woman and a mother.

Continue to research motherhood through your own lens by reading more of of Heather?s words. Visit Heather on the Burlington VT Moms Blog through the Mothers? Central MC Voices Page.

Leave a Comment: Please help us give a warm welcome to Heather. Do you have additional question for her? Share them in the comments section below!

~

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I am a staff member of the National Association of Mothers' Centers and a longtime member of the Mothers' Center of Greater Toledo in Ohio. My husband and I are busy raising 3 children ages 2-9. I have a professional background as a graphic designer in the creative and education industry. Since 2005, I have been using my professional skills by actively volunteering with the Mothers' Center of Greater Toledo in various leadership positions.

Kate Fineske

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Source: http://www.motherscenter.org/blog/2013/06/researching-motherhood-the-summer-mc-voices-spotlight-series-featuring-heather-polifka-rivas/

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